You know I was once just like you: lost... lonely...unloveable...high on a cocktail of drugs snorted off unsavory women and sending somewhat unsolicited pictures of my penis to great grandmothers at Panamanian nursing homes. But I have received a message, an epiphany, and I've been saved! Just as you will be, by attending my forthcoming Spiritual Revival for the small fee of $10,000...a priceless endeavor for the gift of true love and self-actualization.
Welcome to the Church of the Lost...and Found!
Highlights from last month's Spiritual Revival!
Forthcoming Retreats: TBD, in the lord's time
"Stay true. Be enlightened"
- Rev. Dr. JEAU
"I never knew love to be true until I met Reverend JEAU"
- DJ Elder Brother Kwsselus